In most cases the scan will show that your baby appears to be developing as expected but sometimes a condition is found or suspected. But it's bloody hard being miserable the whole time. Sometimes women were told that the sonographer had found a 'marker' or sign of a chromosomal condition and had to wait for an amniocentesis to confirm the findings. So we hid in our house. The consultant had said it wouldn't be like a normal delivery. The clinic advised a follow up scan the week after, to check on progress and to see what to do next. Never being able to look after himself. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. As I waited for the doctor back on the EPU unit. I just want to be normal again. Others said they were shocked because all the early diagnostic tests (e.g. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. We're going to go and see them. From losing my dad to his battle with cancer, to then having to face another battle with cancer and my mum; thankfully she pulled though. Picture every packed football staduim up and down the country - all healthy pregnancies and births. Because, when you're angry with the world for dealing you such a shit time, you begin to hate the people who populate it. But she told us, she told us, she gave us some more detail, she said, 'There's this, there's a big gap in the brain where there shouldn't be'. Anyway we went in for the meeting with the consultant on this particular time, and we'd got to, I was 30 weeks pregnant by then. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, 'it didn't look good' and that 'my womb looked raggedy'. And I remember, the first thing I remember when something might be wrong, was I saw, I finally, we finally saw an image of the skull on the screen, and there appeared to be a sort of black hole shape in the middle. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. Somehow, I walked from the sofa up to the bathroom and told my partner. The doctor didn't come. Went back a week later for the scan and, you were with me for this one, weren't you? So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. And nothing prepares you at all. Why me and not you, you bastard? It doesn't remove the guilt, but I don't know what else to do. I ran into the bedroom to tell Sam, who was ecstatic. The termination would be averting a tragedy. You're in and out and that was it. But it was very evident. Laura miscarried her twin babies in February. That he was small. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. He's now had the all clear and is wriggling round on . We bought little outfits, teddies, and researched all the vitamins and foods that I could eat. So that was it. Next most likely (but actually in the minority) they identify something which whilst not 100% healthy is treatable. Can you describe the difference between the scan at this later stage in a pregnancy? And I said, I was still laughing, and I thought he was joking with me, and he said now I sort of could tell from his face that by that point he wasn't really joking anymore. But here I was, minutes later, lying down, waiting. I then had to wait in the room along with many other patients for an hour so they could observe me. So choroid plexus cysts on their own, no problem, but if there's something else wrong, then that's a problem. And that was Monday afternoon. And I thought that if I were faced with the possibility of having an amnio, hours of discussion would follow - I would spend days mulling it over. Wed like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. But at the 20 week scan, which was on a Wednesday, we saw the nurse at the local hospital, the sonographer, and she did a scan and she found that the femur length was quite short in the, in the fetus. Eventually she got the measurements she wanted. She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. Dont include personal or financial information like your National Insurance number or credit card details. And you could see, where you should have a picture of 4 chambers, you could really see 2. Then, three days later, I would go to the labour ward - the ward I had been expecting to visit in two and a half months. You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. We use some essential cookies to make this website work. But he was not sure. Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. These were said to be soft markers fo a range of trisomies, 2 of which were incompatible with life. If one of the conditions is found or suspected, the sonographer may ask for a second opinion from another member of staff. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. All my plans were beginning to fall down. Hugely upset that to think that the baby was so poorly. ABDOMINAL CIRCUMFERENCE MEASUREMENT AT 20 WEEK SCAN. The hardest thing I have ever done. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). In the case of a suspected abnormality, women should be seen for a second opinion by an expert in fetal ultrasound, such as a fetal medicine specialist. I had never imagined having an amniocentesis. Which she reassured us that she'd be absolutely fine, this was a one-off. It would be a personal tragedy for my partner and me, but that is all. Yeah - in, stomach, out. It was the end of January, very end - about the 29th - I'd gone into, I'd gone into 5 months by then. We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. And at the end of the day however much we talked about it - that it was going to be the two of us to make the decision and me to actually you know, go through it and decide that that was what was going to happen for him - and I just, I didn't want to do it. Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. The doctor or midwife looking after you will let you know before you come. . That's fine. I believed at this point I had miscarried, they wanted me to come back I'm for a follow up scan. We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. Did you, how did that scan make you feel? The scan was inconclusive, but the size of my little bump was measuring a lot smaller than it should have for 10 weeks. The scan can provide information that may mean you have to make further, important decisions. Fine, go on my own. I felt I needed proof of what was wrong before I take such a huge decision and that I couldn't do it based on what someone had written on, on the paper. It seemed a very arbitrary system, and so you quite often sat outside in the waiting room for a couple of hours before you actually got to see the consultant, which was, seemed you know, I kind of remember thinking before we went in to see him on the particular day when we found out there was a problem, 'Why are we sitting here? What happens at the second midwife appointment? Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain. A company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales company number 3266897. It's, I mean you can't tell from these scans what you're looking at really, but I remember thinking, 'it just doesn't look quite right' or something, but I didn't give it much thought. So I took the test and jumped in the shower. I don't know how we got through the next couple of days. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. It seemed inconceivable that we would not be having a baby in May. Tommys is a registered charity in England and Wales (1060508) and Scotland (SC039280). In a small number of cases some very serious conditions are found. By my own hand, I had to end the pregnancy. I was given a leaflet and told to return four days later to see the consultant. However, a few hours later there was another shift change. And she said that, you know, as the, if the baby did develop further there would probably be other problems with internal organs that weren't really that visible at that stage. I guess the morphine made it easier. But they didn't. 'I was having nightmares and panic attacks. He had to come to the decision by himself. So we went back the day after Boxing Day, the 27th, and the consultant greeted us, which made my alarm bells go, and she started scanning us and I think her lines were, 'What concerns me about this baby is that they've got a diaphragmatic hernia, which has meant that part of the stomach of the baby was in its chest cavity.'. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. Our nightmare began when I went for my 20-week scan. So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. So obviously quite relaxed. Just that really! It's part of our family. I know I could have delivered him in a quarter of the time, but I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me. Abortion has never raised any moral dilemmas for me and I am an atheist, so there are no religious issues. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. I want to be happy again. And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. But worse was to come. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. The appointment usually takes around 30 minutes. And then all of a sudden, I was still laughing and we were all very upbeat, and then suddenly, he suddenly said, but I was still, still laughing, and he said to me, 'Oh, there might be a problem, there might be a problem with the, I think this baby has hydrocephalus'. News stories, speeches, letters and notices, Reports, analysis and official statistics, Data, Freedom of Information releases and corporate reports. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. But he was wrong. And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. Some of the other conditions, such as heart defects, are more difficult to see. Those two weeks were agonising for us both. Some things can be seen more clearly than others. You might be offered another test to find out for certain if your baby has one of the conditions. No one else ever met the object of my grief. The same anticipation. Then I picked myself up. Baby loss stories We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. No, we really didn't, with hindsight we probably should have, but not at all, it never occurred to us to be worried about it. But no. We talked about the different sorts of pain relief I could have and I opted for a morphine drip, which I could control. I get terribly irritated by my close friends and family. It took 20 minutes to push him out. The ultimate betrayal. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. We left for home feeling completely numb. It is extremely rare for these pregnancies to reach term as they typically spontaneously miscarry early in pregnancy. Sometimes it is difficult to get good views of a baby. Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommys Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. I want to enjoy my son again, without any reservations. I feel empty and incomplete. 17/12/2020 17:13. I was willing the results to be normal. And I could see, before she even said anything I could see that there was something wrong with the heart. I was told this was common as my body and hormones still thought I was pregnant. This article was amended on 24 November 2015 to anonymise the writer. She didn't say at the time that it was a major problem or that it was something to watch out for. Surely he couldn't have missed anything else that is so serious x. We've got the same battle scars. Some stories I hear are amazing! It was exactly like the labour I had with my first child. However painful and traumatic the labour was, it was better than what would happen at the end of it. The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. If this happens, you will be offered one further scan by 23 weeks of pregnancy. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. We're still not at the end of our journey, but we're much further along. The "why me?" And at that point I don't think we, I don't think we realised that there might have to be a decision, because we'd talked about it with, with Down's and the other possible problems, but at this point it was, well okay what can be done to fix the problem - because yes the heart's not developing properly but there must be something we can do. Unfortunately I was not met with a compassionate sonographer. I can feel my child kick, it responds when he shouts at football - I mean literally, this baby used to dance around whenever he'd like scream at a goal - and there cannot be anything wrong with this child because it's part of us already. The baby was very, very small. At that point, I got very not upset but quite sort of strongly severe sort of with the people at the hospital saying, 'Look, you know, that's 24 hours, possibly a 48 hours' wait - that's not something that's tenable. By the time I left the hospital, I was in shock. Just wonder whether anyone had ever been told? I was then told yet again bad news. We've joined the grown-ups and we both feel very different. I popped out from work, telling my boss I'd be back in half an hour. Please ask your hospital about this before your appointment. I give pregnant women dirty looks. So I suppose from that aspect, mind you having not been told that or sitting there, I wouldn't have thought necessarily that was odd. I've still had no cramps or bleeding so fingers crossed everything is ok I just couldn't believe I fell down the stairs, I can't remember the last time I ever did that! Baby loss support We walked all the way home. It will take only 2 minutes to fill in. There is more detailed information about the main conditions that are looked for during this scan on NHS.UK. Scans cannot find all conditions. Away you go'. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. There are no known risks to your baby or the mother from having an ultrasound scan but it is important that you consider carefully whether or not to have the 20-week scan. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". We'll make an appointment with the senior sonographer, the consultant at the local hospital, and she'll do your scan and she'll be able to tell you more things'. I felt the dread run through me. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. Check benefits and financial support you can get, Find out about the Energy Bills Support Scheme, NHS fetal anomaly screening programme (FASP), Screening tests for you and your baby (STFYAYB), nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3, more information and details of support groups. And still we asked to see a, Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans. I had a horrible feeling of relief. I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. The only thing you're thinking now is the birth, and what if something goes wrong in the birth? On the next shift, the new midwife asked us again. Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans Can you remember that minute. We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. And before they gave me any of the results she asked a colleague to come and told me she wanted to check something, with a colleague, and by then I was getting very concerned because I'd never had that happen before. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. I managed to tell my mum, who said she would come with us to the hospital. But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. By this time, we were tired. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. I tried to keep positive. I wanted to be a passive patient while the doctor did what he had to do. It feels very lonely and isolating. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'.
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