In an attempt to keep, the passengers from standing or moving around before taxiing was completed the Flight Attendant of an internal flight said over the PA, "Ladies and Gentlemen. You do know that he could get ill from the bacteria on the toilet. The danger of incident is no jokein 1985, a Japanese 747 airliner lost its tail midflight and plummeted into a mountain, killing 520 in the deadliest aircraft accident involving just one plane . My startled classmate sat up and responded, Place a temporary filling, sir!. Why arent there any insects in an Army base? My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didnt salute. Reluctantly, he showed it to me. Aeronautical Humor. aviation JOKES (random) Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite, 15. To begin with, the U.S. in early 2022 had 38,500 troops stationed on German soil almost 40% of the total number it deploys in all of Europe. How much noise can we make up here? The military has a long, proud tradition of pranking recruits. How tough? A military aircraft had gear problems on landing, and as the plane was skidding down the tarmac the tower controller asked if they needed assistance. What kind of grades do you need to have in order to join the Navy? Where is your foxhole, Lieutenant? I asked. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I will not charge you. The next day, I received a letter addressed to Sgt. The military refers to a collection of all the armed forces of a particular country.. As for the rest of you, get down and give me 40 for lying!. 10. The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level. On-time Departure Cabin doors closed 15 minutes before scheduled departure time Subsequent delays are irrelevant. Major countries like the USA, India, Russia, and China have the . Caller: Is Sgt. Ask the Navy to secure a building and they will turn off all the lights and lock all the doors at 1700. A joke told repeatedly at aviation industry conferences puts a man and a dog in an airplane. They want their patients to see 20:20! What do you use on your face to keep it so smooth? I During orientation at Fort Sill, in Oklahoma, our first sergeant stated that if anyone lost his locker key to see him, as he kept a master key in his office. [Easy] How to Clean Rust off of a Gun Without Damaging it? Baltimore, said Dad. An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess" He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. When I was a Navy student pilot, I visited the home of a classmate. We were a tough group. As part of my Naval Reserve requirements at Emory University Dental School, I attended a talk about proper dental procedures following nuclear warfare. We made a private sweep all the sunshine off the sidewalks. Proceed at your own risk. Nothing, she said. Youre the only one I can think of she wont be able to drink under the table.. Warren and Joy agreed and up they went. Rather than fire a shot, I shouted out the first half My father was serving in a port city in postWorld War II Germany when a ship laden with GIs docked. Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. A senior chief prompted his 25 sailors by saying, I have an easy job for the laziest man here. For more information about us or joining the team, check out the About Us tab. I told him that I had a date that night and asked for a How did I know my new coworker was a veteran? Divert your course NOW! My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you? When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. 65. A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing with his approach speed just a little too high. 13:30 comes and goes. What do Marines have in common with other members of the Armed Forces? 39. Welcome aboard Flight 245 to Calgary. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the lights to return to the airport, 52. Two Army second lieutenants started debating over certain distances. Every one knows the definition of a good landing is one you can walk away from. The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot". Why is the United States Air Force the most patriotic military branch? The local band hired to greet them was playing a popular hit of the time, I Wonder Whos Kissing Her Now.. The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?, Without hesitating the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth! The U.S. Navy uses the stars to navigate. Just Some Insults Learned In the Air Force 'Bot' Tries To Write An Airline Safety Video. Fighter Training Manual You know your landing gear is UP and LOCKED when it takes full power to taxi to your parking spot. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him umpteen times, Stop telling people Im in the Army! It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form for kindergarten, under fathers profession, the teacher wrote, He doesnt know what his father does, but hes not in the Army.. Thank you, sir. the Soldier responds. Later, I spoke with Mom. An Army ranger, Air Force P.J., Navy seal, and a Recon Marine. Decodes 7. Later, I spoke with Mom. 11. Whats the difference between the Boys Scouts and the Army? 100 Hilarious Airplane Jokes That Are Surely to Take Off Unless you're a pilot, an aeronautical engineer, a hang-around traveler, or simply someone who enjoys aviation, airplane jokes are surely right up your alley. S | Engine found on right wing after brief search. ", The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it on the ground, took off her clothing and said, "Take what you want", The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway". Gary Toohard. Keeping it safe for democracy. Lori Shandle-Fox. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. Halt! shouted our drill instructor. In-dough-structible I was stationed in England with the Air Force when I went to a local barber. There was bound to be trouble, and I was right, because suddenly, he fell silenteyebrows arched, brain overloaded. When finally open guaranteed to spill everywhere, 60. Trask (his last name) used that heritage to lord it over me. One started by saying, Okay smartass, which one is closer, the moon or Florida? The second responded by saying, Obviously its the moon you cant see Florida!. The soldier immediately sat down and began digging through his rucksack. If you have a military joke you think our readers would like then send it to military_jokes@strategyworld.com. What do you call a military officer who goes to the bathroom a lot? 8. Ocean Pearl, I answered. From the plane came a laconic southern voice: . Comedian Martha Raye was a great supporter of the military and made many trips to Vietnam to entertain the troops. Why were the Marines invented? Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. The gunners very first shot sent the drone into the water! While serving in Vietnam, my friend and his buddies were hunkered down in a mud-filled hole that had been dug into the side of a berm and covered with lumber for protection. Reply: This is a lighthouse your call.. This happened several times times throughout the flight. One day, convinced he could improve things, he told the head cook, If you give me a paring knife, I could peel these potatoes faster. The cook turned slowly to my father and said, Son, youre in the Army. "He who is first will soon be last, and now I know what he means," King said, referencing a lyric from Bob Dylan as he reflected on what the race . Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. Ask the Army to secure a building and they will set up a perimeter around it and make sure nobody gets out. R-i-i-ing!) ", "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?". My husband is infantry, and he said the most wonderful things to convince me to marry him: The closets could all be mine since he wears the same thing Humankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there. Landings are mandatory. You seem in a good mood., He replied, Im paying a private to do all my worrying for me.. ", "Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. He was holding a toothbrush, which he proceeded to use to scrub underneath the rim of Its important that soldiers learn from their mistakes; otherwise, theyre bound to repeat them at inopportune moments. ! Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A Military lab has developed a pizza that boasts a shelf life of three years without being frozen, and now the Week has asked its readers to name this durable dish. Known to bicker and make fun of each other often, its likely that those in the military have a good sense of humor. ", Continental 635 "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff roger; and yes, we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers", 53. Why do optometrists set their clocks to military time? This is really good, he said. What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common? Did you make it all by yourself? I lifted up my rifle and gave it one last try: George!! The guy put down the paper, turned to my friend, and said, Well, there goes the light bulb.. A tank ran over a bag of popcorn and apparently, two kernels were killed! Our pilots FLY much better than they DRIVE so please remain seated until the captain finishes taxiing and brings the aircraft to a complete stop at the terminal, 13. He wanted to move out of the barracks as soon as possible. 4. A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. Fish Food. It helps to keep the pilot cool. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. Caller: OK. 15. The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire, 47. Explaining the use of the controls to a student "If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller. Bad altitude. Do not communicate with officers using only Madonna lyrics. I smiled and said, Sure was a lot of em, huh sir?. I'm impressed! Building the Army is a part of the government's tasks, and the military is made to protect citizens during war-time. Thats why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. While serving as chief medical officer at Fort Ritchie in Maryland, I attended a nearby wedding. 'Never fly in the same cockpit. Ask the Marines to secure a building and they will charge in, kill everybody inside, and then set up defenses to make sure nobody gets in. 8.3.4 Modern aviation history. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal, 22. What does ARMY mean to you? Im 81 years old, he answered.
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